I get to thinking yeah, I can do this. I'm patient and helpful and smart and flexible and a good team player and sure my CV might look like a dog's dinner, but I've jumped into the deep end lots of times now and always come up swimming. All right, not always. Most of the time, though. And now for possibly the first time in my life I have a mission, of sorts, so on top of all those great qualities I've got passion to offer. And I know I likely won't find a job through a job posting but most people don't, right? I just have to get out there and get to know people and at some point it's going to click and someone will hire me and I can start working and fill in the gaps in my qualifications as I go. I just have to be less shy about the things I'm passionate about so that the right people can find me.
Except being less shy means being more likely to stick my foot in it, or offend people, or overwhelm them, or generally show that version of me who(m) I've kept under wraps precisely because I'm afraid that she is too critical, too awkward, too uninformed, too likely to get the dreaded Blank Stare, too unlikely to get anything remotely like the positive reinforcement she so desperately craves.
And possibly because I expect things to go badly when I stick my neck out, they usually do. Or, I imagine that they do. And then all I want to do crawl back into my shell and sit in bed and eat chocolate.
But my people. They're out there somewhere. Right??
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