free time

Novena-of-gratitude day 5: When the house is empty and I don't have anything immediately pressing, I tend to have long "meditation" sessions. With quotation marks because what actually occurs is maybe less meditation than talking to myself, daydreaming, or outright dozing off. But it's lovely and luxurious, as long as I don't decide to beat myself up about my scandalous lack of productivity. Speaking of which: the text for the spiritual exercises this week is John 20:19-23, Jesus appearing to the disciples after after his resurrection:

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked...Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you!’ After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord. Again Jesus said, ‘Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.’ And with that he breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.’

This is the text used to justify a Catholic priest's ability to forgive sins in the sacrament of reconciliation (which, eye roll; but also, fine) but I wonder if it's less a magic power that Jesus decided to give to his closest friends than a tautology to live by. A reminder of the power we have to co-create each other: if you do not forgive me, I am not forgiven. And I think it's interesting that holiness and forgiveness are so intimately linked here. We are all more than capable of finding flaws and holding grudges, but to receive the Holy Spirit means to see through the eyes of Love: to find delight and hold faith instead. Unconditional positive regard! No bad parts! Oh how I struggle to find that perspective, particularly for myself. 

The only picture I've taken so far today is of Susi the Still Not Dead Bunny, our in-house testament to life force. She's looking particularly scruffy because she's drying off after we washed a gigantic poop out of her fur. Did you know that rabbits make special vitamin-K enriched stinky poops that they eat (or in Susi's case, unintentionally roll in) in addition to the regular pellets? It's gross! Biology is amazing!