help?

So you know what I said about meals with strangers being awkward? Now I have a week of it - three meals a day, interspersed with six hours of theology lectures. I remember, now, how much this sucked last year - I think I'd blocked it out, or the nice location and the good food and the joy of passing two classes at the end of the week or the fact that I had a friend there for some of it made it somehow less sucky. Anyway. It sucks. Not that anyone is anything less than nice - and these shouldn't even be strangers any more, since it's essentially the same group that was here last year - it's mostly just me coming up again against how terrible I am at group conversation, compounded by how terrible I am at German, compounded this time also by the fact that I have serious doubts about my ability to pass the exams at the end of the week but also can't seem to let go of the idea that I have to try. Anyway, if anyone is reading this, say a little prayer for me and my ridiculous quest to [whatever the fuck I am trying to do here], thank you.

The view out my window, when it was raining, which apparently happens often here due to the weather patterns around the mountains. It could hardly be described as bad, and yet...none of the trees are speaking to me (insert eye roll emoji here).