testing

Today was the exam for my Old Testament class and I got a 4.5, which is like a C+.

What I should think: Passed another one, yay!

What I actually think: omg I have never in my life gotten a C in anything maybe I should give up and kill myself

Seriously. I am not sure what to do with me. One of the books I chose to answer questions about was Ecclesiastes - all is vanity! Apparently I did not manage to internalize its message about enjoying the life you have.

Sigh.

Tomorrow we are picking up the rabbits. I'm not sure if that's additionally making me anxious (the thought of being responsible for more living things sends me into fits) or if it's overflow anxiety from the exam, or maybe if it's the other way around? It will be fine. I'll feel better in the morning. The rabbits will be cute. They will not immediately die under our care.

I feel unstable. And yet, objectively, nothing at all is wrong.

Help.