triggers

So yeah, grief. Things that have brought me to tears this week:

1. The email saying that choir is cancelled until the fall. I wasn't even going to choir this year because I wanted to take the kids to Seattle this summer and and that meant I had to take my Thursday class in the evenings. But I was sad all at once that (a) my lovely choir won't be able to sing together for quite a while, (b) singing together suddenly seems to be a risky activity, and (c) the best laid plans...

2. The credits of this cute Dutch movie, where the two main characters get married, and it suddenly hit me that my dear husband on couch next to me is not tall, and that means that my life may well end before I have a romantic relationship with a tall man. Hormones are so fun.

3. My son today, proposing that we cremate the dead pet fish in the oven ourselves so that we would have his ashes and "he could stay here with us." There are parents who know just the right thing to say in situations like this. I'm not one of them.

4. This does not actually belong on the list because I did not cry or even want to cry about it, but it does belong in the category of mourning-things-made-impossible-by-covid-19: Monday would have been the parish field trip. I love parish field trips.

So. A little fragile here. But it's suppose to rain all week, which is fabulous for my allergies and not at all bad for my mood either, as long as I get to stay inside...which, would you believe it, I do!